Martha’s Words

/ Shirley Sorbello / 6 Comments

FREE Kindle on Amazon Today through February 23, 2020

He kept them in a night table drawer—a treasure of poems carefully hand-written in a composition book by his mother fifty years before. One of the poems, “My Boy,” was about him. How it must have warmed my Dad’s heart when he read it. Reece Wilmer Press, Jr. looked a lot like his mother and had inherited her stocky body build splattered with freckles, as I did.

I wasn’t particularly interested in the poems back then. It wasn’t until 1972, when he gave them to me, that I remembered they even existed. Martha Walton Press had died nine years before my birth. I am truly sorry that I never had the chance to know her. Dad didn’t talk much about his early family life, but I had the impression that it was a bit troubled. My mother mentioned to me that he had to quit school at age 16 to help support the family when his parents split up. (Ten years later, though, he graduated with a diploma in civil engineering from Drexel University).

The poems, written between 1899 and 1911, survived the five moves to date in my life. During this time, the writing has faded and the pages have become slightly torn and dog-eared. A few years ago when I took up genealogy, I read the poems several times, searching her words and studying the stylish handwriting in an attempt to know her better.

When I began self-publishing, it became apparent that these poems should be preserved in print. The themes of love, friendship, death and life are timeless. The words are cumbersome by today’s standards but their simplicity conveys a richness of emotion and nostalgia. Moreover, my grandmother was a feisty, creative, intelligent woman who played piano by ear, sewed clothing that she saw on a model and ran her own beauty shop. From the little I know about her, she seemed ahead of her time. When she became divorced, she married her younger brother-in-law, a bit unusual for the 1920s. She deserves to be remembered, and I can’t think of a better way to honor her memory.

As I continue in my writing journey, I feel that Martha’s spirit watches me, cheering me on. I sometimes wonder if she would have done more with her writing if life hadn’t gotten in the way. The luxury of retirement was not available to her; at the age of 57 she passed away from colon cancer.

I published her twelve poems in a short book entitled, “Martha’s Words,” in 2015. Here is the first poem—I hope you like it and will want to read more of her work.

A Lesson

A rose lies withered in my hand,
And one by one, its petals fall.
My thoughts oft turn to a better land
Where no flowers will fall at all.

It reminds me too of an aimless past,
Ah, full of regrets I now see.
Yes, one by one, hopes all fall fast;
There’s naught sure but eternity.

‘Tis sweet to live just day to day
For hope fadeth with the morrow.
And the prize we seek in a worldly way
Is only a false hope we borrow.

I often pray that God, to me, may gift
A life like the pure simple flower,
Content to take his sunshine to live
And scatter his blessings each hour.

Martha Walton (July 27, 1899)

Coping with the C-Word

/ Shirley Sorbello / 12 Comments

    Feel free to reblog or share this article in its entirety.

Coping with the C-Word

             Shirley P. Sorbello, MSW

“The biopsy results showed cancer cells,” Dr. Wilson said to me matter-of-factly.   I glazed over upon hearing those words, that took me to a level of reality where I had never ventured.

“Oh, no,” I said, thinking at the same time this couldn’t be happening to me. No one ever believes it could happen to them.  People think that somehow it’s everyone else who gets cancer.

At least one in three people in the United States will hear this diagnosis at some time in their lives. Even though advances in early detection and treatment have lessened cancer’s effect as a death sentence, a diagnosis of cancer can still rock anyone’s world as it did mine.

Here are some tips that might help you or a loved-one cope more effectively.

Share Your Diagnosis with Those People Closest to You:  It’s normal to feel shock, numbness and denial at first. While you are trying to get your bearings, you need to share some information with people who love you.  It’s important for you to feel their love and support as you begin to navigate through this crisis.

Although it can be extremely helpful to talk about your feelings, be cautious about sharing this information with everyone.  You may get some unwanted advice and hear horror stories as well.  Be aware that not everyone will react to your news in a similar way.  If it’s not the reaction you were expecting or hoping for, it probably says more about their hang-ups than how they feel about you.  Don’t be hurt or discouraged by it. You will find that most people will offer a listening ear and physical support.  You may even be lucky enough to have a friend who went through what you are going through.  His or her input can be extremely reassuring. If you have any serious questions or concerns, don’t ask your friends, ask your doctor.

Remember, however, that while interacting with others can be helpful, you are your own strongest support. If you can’t talk about it, perhaps you can write about your thoughts or feelings in a notebook or journal.

Make Necessary Appointments:  Whether you need to see an oncologist, surgeon, radiologist, or need more testing, don’t wait to do it.  Sometimes it takes a while to get an appointment.  Procrastination can increase your anxiety. Looking back, you will be glad you didn’t delay. Follow your gut feelings when it comes to getting a second opinion or making decisions about treatment.  Something inside of you knows what is best for you.

Take someone with you when you first go to a surgeon or oncologist. That way, you won’t feel as alone as I did when a bald patient came out of the office shaking her head. I could only imagine the scary news she must have received, and then I worried more about what I was going to hear about myself.

Be Kind to Yourself:  It’s important to nurture and take care of yourself at this time. Do the things that make you feel happy.  Go for that massage you’ve been wanting, see a movie you’ve been thinking about, or buy a new purse or book that will perk up your spirits.  Get your sleep, eat healthy and spend more time with people you enjoy being with.  Remember it’s your turn now to put yourself first.

Continue with Your Normal Routine:   Doing normal things keeps you from obsessing or worrying about what’s ahead for you.  As much as possible, adhere to your regular schedule or go ahead with any special plans you have.  I had been looking forward to a short trip before I was diagnosed.  I choose to go through with it even though it meant I didn’t return until the day before my surgery.  Looking back, I am glad that I went, as it helped to occupy my time with enjoyable moments.  I undoubtedly went into surgery with a more relaxed, positive attitude than I would have if I had been sitting at home worrying.

Stay in the Present Moment:  As much as possible, refrain from “what if’s.”  Take one day at a time.  Tomorrow is promised to no one. Worrying about things that may never happen is useless and will stress you out.

Seek Spiritual Comfort:  If you are religiously or spiritually inclined, you may find comfort in speaking with your priest, pastor or a friend who shares your spiritual perspective.  If your present spiritual perspective does not seem to be serving you adequately, perhaps it’s time to explore some new avenues.  Visit your local bookstore and see what attracts your attention.

Both meditation and guided imagery are spiritually-related practices that are excellent for your health.  If you’ve never meditated before, this is probably not the time to begin as it does require practice and concentration.  If you have meditated before, then you might benefit from returning to a regular practice.  With guided imagery, you need only to sit back, relax and listen to a calming voice on a CD or the internet that leads you on a healing journey of images and positive feelings.  I found that listening to guided healing imagery on the internet prior to my surgery helped me stay calmer and more centered than I would have otherwise been.

It’s Okay to be Afraid: It is normal to feel some degree of fear or anxiety when facing a diagnosis of cancer.  It’s okay to cry.  Acknowledge your feelings, for they are genuinely your own, but don’t neglect to look for that pillar of strength that resides inside of you.  You’ve been through tough times in the past.  What sustained you then?  It’s still there.  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and you will feel your strength deep inside.  I promise you it’s there.

Think Positive Thoughts: People with the most positive outlooks generally do better with cancer treatment and recovery.  Think about your life.  What are you thankful for?  Perhaps it’s a relationship, your children or your career.  Being thankful for the good things in your life has been shown to decrease depression and elevate mood. Make a habit of thinking of everything you are thankful for and feeling a sense of appreciation about it at least once a day.

Affirmations can be helpful too.  They are positive statements about “what is.” Look into your mirror in the morning and at nighttime, and say a few times out loud something positive like, “I am radiantly healthy and cancer free.”   Or, make up something that is meaningful to you.  The important thing to remember is to speak as if it is already happening now, not as a future event.

Creative visualization is another useful tool.  Sit down, relax and take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and picture yourself healthy and doing well in life.  Imagine a neighbor saying to you, “You look well,” and you replying with a smile, “I feel great.”  Picture a visit to your doctor.  He is saying, “You are doing really well.  I am really pleased with your test results.  Keep up the good work.”  Feel the joy!

Most importantly, use this whole experience to look at where you are in your life.  What matters to you?  What is working and not working?  What is it time to let go of?  What haven’t you done, that you’ve wanted to do?  This glimpse of your own mortality can lead you to a richer, more fulfilling life…one that you truly value and love.

www.shirleysorbello.com

Kindness: a Rare Commodity?

/ Shirley Sorbello / 4 Comments

We aren’t as nice as we used to be—or so it seems. The anonymity of the internet has made it easier to judge, and to hate. Stress levels in today’s world frequently push the buttons of violence.

Hurting or bullying someone else may may heal a wounded ego for a moment, but this action for the perpetrator reveals judgment of self…of the insecurities, fears or feelings of powerlessness that lie beneath the action. Sadly, for the victim, the results can be everlasting.

The need to be right, or retaliate, may lead to violence. Violence never stops violence, nor proves anything without consequences…what we do to another, we do to ourselves. We are all in this together…we are all one.

Why is it that tragedies or disasters often draw out the best in people? Is this God’s or the Universe’s way of bringing us back to the wisdom of the innocent child who entered this world, loving himself or herself, as well as everyone around them?

Kindness needs no words, nor translation. A smile or simple gesture goes a long way to creating a loving society where we can all flourish. It only takes a second to be kind…but the results can be amazing.

Change

/ Shirley Sorbello / 4 Comments

     The necessity of change is difficult for many of us to accept. There is no doubt that sudden unexpected change such as the death of a loved one is devastating. Some are able to integrate loving memories of their dear one into a life that moves ahead. Others lead limited lives by failing to accept the unwanted change in circumstances.

     It’s often easier to accept less tragic, more gradual change, especially if you are younger. If you’ve lived more than a few decades you’ve seen numerous shifts in culture, ways of thinking and lifestyles. When we are young it seems easier to flow with these changes. As we age, however, flowing with change tends to become more difficult. When we get older, we sometimes nurture a desire to return to the safety or “sanity” of the childhood years, or the beauty and agility of our younger glory days. Too many past thoughts blind us to the present, and we fail to see and appreciate all that’s worthwhile right in front of us.

     A fully lived life necessitates a reasonable degree of adaptability. Accept the idea that nothing stays the same. It’s the only thing that’s certain in life. Learn to accept what you can’t change. If you have no control over the circumstances, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t change other people, only the way you react to them. Moreover, if you are unhappy, take the necessary steps to make the changes you can control. Don’t allow anxiety and fear to dominate your actions.

     If you seek more peace and fulfillment in your life, remember to live in the present moment. Every second is precious; don’t waste time reliving the past or dreaming too much about the future. Being grateful for all the good things in your life presently, will bring you even more reasons to be grateful down the road. Flow through the rough spots and live each day fully. You can’t move ahead, or live your best life, with your head stuck in the past.

Photo Friday – Ascona

/ Shirley Sorbello / Leave a comment

A lovely photo from a trip to southern Switzerland and beautiful Lake Maggiore in 2007. It is the second largest lake in Italy and the largest in southern Switzerland. Lake Maggiore and its shoreline are divided between the Italian regions of Piedmont and Lombardy and the Swiss canton of Ticino. The lake travels 41 miles and gets more beautiful with each twist and turn through the mountains. One of my favorite places on earth!

Creativity: The Doorway to the Soul

/ Shirley Sorbello / 2 Comments

Do you have a hobby, or better yet, a profession, that you can joyfully lose yourself in for hours? The keyword here is “joyful,” as in follow your bliss. Something you enjoy that takes you out of your left brain, conscious mind and puts you in contact with the right brain, unconscious mind, invites soul communication.

The soul speaks to us through dreams, strong emotions, gut feelings, music, beauty in all forms, intuition and symbols. When we disengage, even partially, from our conscious mind, it allows us to open the channel to the soul as we put the right brain to work, occupying our time with an activity we love or are inspired by.

It doesn’t matter whether it is art, music, photography, or poetry. The road to the soul is one that stimulates the imagination and takes you out of your logical, left brain. Watching a colorful sunset, sitting in a wooded forest next to a babbling brook or even reading great fiction while it paints pictures in your mind are all soulful activities.

Why is communicating with the soul important? The more you tune into what your soul wants to share, the sooner your life experience changes from back and white into shades of color. You are utilizing both sides of your brain for a richer life experience. Your soul knows what’s best for you and so will you.

Photo Friday-Lake Lily

/ Shirley Sorbello / Leave a comment
Lake Lily, Cape May Point, NJ

Update – What I’m Working On Now

/ Shirley Sorbello / 4 Comments

I am happy to say that I have returned to writing daily (at least for now 😊) It feels comfortable, and for the most part, the words are flowing. In 2016, I slowed down considerably due to family issues and then experienced several changes which required my time and attention. Now I’m back with renewed enthusiasm and a more focused perspective on where my writing is going.

Some of you may remember the strong, female protagonist, Rebecca, in the two short stories I published. She has been insistent about my finishing her story before I complete anything else. Rather than making a trilogy of the stories, I have decided (with her help) to write a richer, expanded version of the first two stories and complete it with the final section into a novella. “Where the Heart Goes” will be released early in 2020. For those of you who haven’t read my short stories, this is historical fiction with a romantic theme that takes place primarily in Texas in the late 1800’s.

The novella will be followed by a novel, “Trip to a Lifetime.” I began writing this several years ago after a trip to Italy. About two-thirds of it is written and if all goes well, it will be published in 2021. It is spiritual fiction with a reincarnation theme.

Thank you for following me on this journey. Your support is important to me and hopefully it will keep me from slacking off. 😊

Love’s Reward

/ Shirley Sorbello / Leave a comment

I recently came across this poem I wrote in 1985 when I was cleaning out a closet today. I hope you enjoy it.

“True love does not seek its own reward; its worth, its dignity, is entrenched within its own existence; it breathes with soft sounds and lives in tender thoughts that touch the soul.

True love understands unspoken utterances; its beauty, its expression, is seen within the gentleness of the eyes; it whispers ‘always’ and never speaks the word ‘impossible’.

True love believes, when faith dares to falter; its trust, its devotion, abides in childlike innocence spotted by reality’s harshness; it feels the deepest depths of vulnerability and knows this to be the secret of its strength.

True love cries silently the tears of the beloved; its pain, its sorrow, is shared sacredly within the heart’s deepest chambers; it enjoys contentment when peace abounds and smiles when it hears the words ‘I love you’. “

January, 1985