forgiveness

I liked you, even loved you, from afar

I felt I had known you before

In my mind, that cabin in the woods

A cruel, ridiculing father

Brown eyes filled with tears

A boy too sensitive and kind to kill a deer

Was I the disapproving one

Or the other too weak to speak?

Equally a sin against a gentle child of God

Haunted by the memory of your pain-filled cries

Unaware I’d have a chance one day

To heal, and be healed, from the sorrow I caused

Now to hug you dearly as a lost child

And hear you whisper, “I’m hugging you back”

To have you ask for an embrace I couldn’t give then

And feel your love radiate back to me

To say, “I love you” and hear you answer softly, “I understand”

I didn’t know

Photo Credit: Copyright: mizinatanya / 123RF Stock Photo

The older I get, the less emotional baggage I want to carry with me, so at this point in life I have learned to pick my battles carefully and let go of those I no longer want to own. I have realized that some “injustices” need to be released because holding on to them is simply doing me harm, physically and emotionally. I value my own well-being more. It also helps me to remember that forgiveness does not mean that you have to forget.

In addition, my slowly-acquired awareness that the “injustice” says more about the perpetrator than about me, has allowed me to move on. Do I really want to “sink” to their level? Neither am I so quick now to “perceive” an injustice and attribute intention to another. I don’t really know what is going on in their head…perhaps it’s just my perception and they never intended it the way I took it.

I trust in my belief that God (the universe) is ultimately fair so why would I waste my time plotting some type of revenge? It will be dealt with in its own time and place. I am happier to live peacefully by focusing on the positives in life.

Photo credit: Copyright: <a href=’http://www.123rf.com/profile_sean824′>sean824/123RF Stock Photo