I Didn’t Know

I liked you, even loved you, from afar

I felt I had known you before

In my mind, that cabin in the woods

A cruel, ridiculing father

Brown eyes filled with tears

A boy too sensitive and kind to kill a deer

Was I the disapproving one

Or the other too weak to speak?

Equally a sin against a gentle child of God

Haunted by the memory of your pain-filled cries

Unaware I’d have a chance one day

To heal, and be healed, from the sorrow I caused

Now to hug you dearly as a lost child

And hear you whisper, “I’m hugging you back”

To have you ask for an embrace I couldn’t give then

And feel your love radiate back to me

To say, “I love you” and hear you answer softly, “I understand”

I didn’t know

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The Human Heart

I was recently going through some old boxes and came across a few poems that I wrote over thirty years ago. This is my favorite; I hope you like it, too.

The heart hears loudly, voices softly spoken.

It cries the tears of today’s tragedy;

It smiles with tomorrow’s hidden hopes.

The heart sees clearly, visions scarcely conceived.

It fears the hurt that strikes its core;

It loves what it dares to embrace.

The heart speaks strongly, words hardly heard.

It argues against logic’s best reasoning;

It trusts in no wisdom but its own.

October, 1984

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Words to Ponder

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I came across this on Facebook today and was really struck by the warm emotion and thoughts that Mr. Nimoy’s words evoked in me. I smiled as I realized that I have been fortunate enough to have known a few very special people in my lifetime that I can say this about…people who are comfortable sharing the intimacy of silence.

How about you? Have you shared these special moments of silence with others?

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Soul-Filled Moments

We came here to connect with, not disconnect from, our true selves. For some of us, this takes a lifetime; others seem to be born with a knowing that we are more than our physical body. Sadly, there are those who barely connect and continue to live a life of quiet desperation, with an empty feeling they try unsuccessfully to fill. Others never connect at all until they die and reunite with their true higher self.

Some of us feel our soul in the whispers of the wind; others in the crashing of the sea upon the jagged rocks. It might be heard in the spring song of a robin or seen in your baby’s first smile. It is that feeling of joy and infinite peace that you experience when you hook up with all that you are – the part of you that never dies but lives through all eternity. How do you connect? What is it you do when you lose yourself completely and time no longer exists?

When you take the time on a regular basis to experience soul-filled moments such as losing yourself in a hobby you adore or quiet moments of meditation, you will find it easier to keep your life in perspective. You will tend to detach, not escape in addictive behaviors, from the pain or complexity of your existence. You will be able to see through more neutral eyes as your ego-driven personality relinquishes control, and you become capable of seeing who you really are, in love and light. Not only will your health improve, but you will feel at peace as you see the wholeness and magnificence of this unique, loving being you were created to be. Nothing will seem impossible to you then. All problems are solvable, and they no longer even matter. Isn’t that a good place to be?

My Other

Sometimes it’s hard to get in touch with our true essence…

I’ve searched for you all my life.

I saw your reflection in others whom I loved.

I reached out for you, but they weren’t you.

They were just reflections, passing glimpses of your essence, which left me feeling empty inside and alone.

I was, as an unrequited lover, inconsolable at times, and so lonely without a knowing of you in my life.

I felt you coming closer.

Now, I realize you are here.

You send me gentle waves of comfort and reassurance from somewhere deep inside my heart that radiate throughout my physical being.

I embrace the messages of your comforting warmth, your peaceful reassurance, your eternal love, as none other.

Come closer my eternal spirit, lets play together here and now as we become reacquainted.

As each day goes by, I know we’ll take more and more delight in our existence.

Together we are free, we are love, we are gentle, we are powerful; we are everything, and so will my life be, here and now.

You are perfect, as I now realize I am; no one knows the perfection of our soul better than we do.

No one else understands who we really are, nor do they have to; our knowing is enough.

You were always here, always with me.

I had only to stop looking outside of myself to find the dearest part of me, tucked deeply inside.